To Tear Apart the Ties that Bind
by weasleyisyourking
Summary: Lily Evans isn't a normal girl, she's already unknowingly become a target in the war, she's still mourning the loss of her oldest friend who has allied himself against her and she thinks she might be the only girl on earth not in love with James Potter...
1. Prologue

**Summary: **_Lily Evans isn't a normal girl, she's already unknowingly become a target in the war, she's still mourning the loss of her oldest friend who has allied himself against her and she thinks she might be the only girl on earth not in love with James Potter..._

**Authors Note: **This is my first attempt at fan fiction, I'm constantly reading it and when I read one I don't like, I find myself getting really irritated, then feel guilty about it. So I guess it was my conscience that prompted me to attempt writing this, I don't know whether it will be any good, I've never thought myself to be much of a fiction writer, I get awful writers block, but I promise to give this a good go! I am going to attempt to keep the story true to the time period in terms of cultural references, but some of the turns of phrase and their attitudes will probably be a bit more modern. Any Brits who get annoyed at the Americanisms used in Potter fan fiction shouldn't have to worry here, I'm a Brit myself. The rest of the story won't be the same style as the Prologue, but I wanted to write it a bit differently to give a bit of information as to how I think Lily's feeling at this point about everything as every author portrays her slightly differently. For this reason, I am posting the Prologue and Chapter 1 at the same time, so that you have a bit more to comment on in terms of the actual story if you choose to review (please do!).

The lyrics from the start of the prologue are what inspired me to finally start writing this story, although I had been thinking about it for some time already! I imagine a lot of you will have heard of Arctic Monkeys, but those of you who haven't I suggest listening to at least the song the lyrics are from, it will give you a good insight into what got me all inspired to write! But they are an amazing band anyway, hands down my favourite Haha! ;) Anyway, I am going to sign off before this A/N becomes a story in its own right!

Until next time!  
>weasley-is-your-king<p>

**Disclaimer: **All belongs to the God that is JKR

**Prologue:**

"_Do me a favour and ask if you need some help,  
>She said do me a favour and stop flattering yourself!<br>And to tear apart the ties that bind,  
>perhaps 'fuck off' might be too kind,<br>perhaps 'fuck off' might be too kind..." – _Arctic Monkeys 'Do Me A Favour'

I rarely used to have nightmares, my sister Petunia was always the one who suffered from them, but since I ran into my former best friend during my pre Hogwarts trip to Diagon Alley, I've been having the same dream every night. They begin with my earliest memory of using magic, I was 6 and Polly Cooper was teasing me over my red hair one afternoon at the park, she had been doing this since we started school, but that day I had finally had enough, and I caused a branch to break from the tree Polly was stood under and to fall on her head, unintentionally of course, even though at the time I couldn't explain how, I knew I'd caused it. She had needed 8 stitches. Then, I am 9 years old and had inadvertently caused Petunia to choke on her dinner when she had tried to tell on me to Mum after she saw me sneaking into our parent's wardrobe trying to find the Christmas presents, luckily she was ok. Until I went to Hogwarts, there were many smaller incidents that were similar to these; they were a common occurrence as a child, when I had neither my magic, nor my temper, under control. In between these two main memories and each night different ones will feature in my dream. Memories of these incidents all build up to the same day and the final memory that features in my dream. Nothing scares me more than when I think of how I felt the day my best friend betrayed me, the day I finally realised I had lost Severus Snape.

Severus had been my first true friend, before he told me that I was a witch, I had thought myself a freak, the name Petunia's continued to refer to me as since she found out and when she first spat it at me on Platform ¾ he was the first person to make me feel that it was still ok to be what I was, it was her problem, not mine, it was born out of a fear of what she didn't understand, because she wasn't special, like us.

By 4th year he had become my first love, I never managed to work out whether it was a platonic love, or romantic, I was never attracted to him in the way that girls are supposed to be with boys, I didn't stare at him across the classroom when he thought I wasn't looking, I didn't stay awake late at night and think about kissing him. No- it was his mind that I loved, he matched my intellect and we could talk for hours about anything and I fully believed that he understood me. I had felt proud of myself for staying away from the shallow crushes that most of the girls in my dorm had succumbed to; I thought I had found my soul mate, a kindred spirit as it were. Yet the thought had always plagued me (most often when I saw the likes of Potter and Black with whichever girl they were dating (or as rumour had it, fucking in an empty broom cupboard) that week) where was the passion?

But we found the passion, not the kind Potter, Black and their girls had, the kind I thought I wanted, a different kind of passion was in his eyes when he had called me a mudblood in front of the entire year, and that was that, 6 years of friendship had been unwoven by that one word. I wasn't upset- I was angry, angrier than I had ever been, angry that he had dared throw my love for him back in my face! In my blinding fury memories of Polly Cooper and Petunia came back in full force, along with memories of defending Severus year after year, how I had severed any friendship I may have had with the majority of the Gryffindor boys, how by third year I had gained the pity of the girls for being deluded enough to think any friendship I'd had with him might withstand the house rivalry and differing blood status. This dangerous cocktail of memories and emotions combined with the sounds of branches cracking, choking and the word _mudblood_ echoing in my ears lead to a familiar feeling of the air crackling around me, my blood boiling and my muscles tensing, all leading to a perverse pleasure at the thought of whatever comeuppance he was about to receive, my common sense won out, but I knew all I could do was run, I was losing control of my powers for the first time in seven years and if I hadn't been so furious at the time I would have registered the fear I had felt at how quickly and to the extent I was losing control of myself. It's that fear that plagues me in the nightmares.

I could hear Potter shouting after me, but I couldn't stop, I could feel the fury bubbling in my blood stream, knowing it will combine with my magic to produce something potentially deadly. As I reached the prefect's bathroom the pounding increased, starting in my head and spreading through my body until I had no choice but to throw myself into the bathroom, letting my scream of rage out, as the shower rained fire onto the tiles and the large bath quickly filled with what looked like lava, before overflowing and coating the floor in the molten substance, giving the room an ominous red glow. As the feeling of pure rage subsided, I sat on the floor and began breathing deeply until the constant streams of flames stopped and the lava faded away. I eventually returned to Gryffindor Tower, embracing the calm after the storm of my first outburst of unintentional magic since I was 10 years old, and the worst of my life so far. It's at this point I wake up and attempt to console myself with the fact that thankfully no one was hurt.

However after that day my life at Hogwarts changed. It was later that night, sat by the fire with my best friends Alice and Marlene that I realised, I _was_a mudblood, and proud of it, it was just a word and I shouldn't have to be ashamed of my heritage, which I was beginning to realise, I had been. If that was the label the junior death eaters wanted to give me then why give them the satisfaction of allowing them to let it cause me pain? Just because I had ignored the rumours surrounding Sev and his friends, it didn't mean I hadn't heard them. I didn't fail to notice that the end of my friendship with Severus had managed to coincide with the war finally reaching inside the walls of Hogwarts. So I manage to rise above the Pure blood mania, I don't let the words hurt me and I'm remarkably better for it, I no longer feel the dread of not being good enough and the constant need to prove myself that I have now come to associate with Severus' friendship.

Now 17 and being about to start my 7th and final year at the school I realise that my timing going to Hogwarts had been unfortunate. I had been thrown into a magical world I had no knowledge of while a war was in full swing. This war was based around contrasting views on my kind: muggles, mudbloods. My parents, who have lived through the second world war don't know about the war in the wizarding world, the way I see it, telling them of the raging war which happens to have striking similarities to the one they've only recently survived seems cruel. Besides, they would be unlikely to let me return to Hogwarts if they believed I wasn't safe and it would give Petunia an excuse for another rant about _"disgusting, unnatural, freakish magic!" _

After the incident at the lake I felt as if I had been confronted by the effects of the war, finally realising exactly what it meant for me. So by the time I returned for sixth year I decided to switch my focus from Potions and Charms to Defence Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration, no longer having the ambition I'd had since second year to become a Healer, instead I'm aiming to be an Auror when I graduate next July. Of course The Marauders don't approve of this, when have they ever approved of anything I've done? Apparently I don't have the nerve to excel in Defence, or the quick thinking apparently! I feel like all I heard sixth year from Black was "Back to your books Evans- leave the fighting to the men!" of course, I had my retorts ready for him!

Despite the massive changes that were occurring in my life, one of the few things that remained the same as ever was my intense dislike for James Potter. However, the unsettling fact was that what used to be the infamous Potter/Evans arguments that the student body had learnt the hard way to avoid at any cost, had since the Snape incident evaporated, replaced on his part, with awkward platitudes. The usual insults and the sarcastic remarks we had previously exchanged in lessons were left unspoken, leaving a light awkwardness felt by us both; which whilst still annoyed me to no end, didn't have the same heat between us that had used to leave me wondering how I had managed to refrain from hexing him into the middle of next week!

Needless to say there was something about James Potter. I had long since shrugged off the initial reaction to blame him for the demise of my friendship with Severus, but that day it was as if he had realised a line had been crossed, after that day The Marauders stopped the extra pranks on me, turning their attention to Marlene, Potter stopped asking me out, (something that he had been doing every day since I had come back to school in third year with boobs and a decent figure) and while there were obvious exceptions, I felt because of this I was no longer able to chastise them for most of their pranks. For once in his life, Potter was toeing the line around me, being overly cautious, aware of the consequences that day in fifth year had.

Since everyone else was also aware that he had pushed me too far that day and the of change between us since, most believed that the volatile nature of our relationship was over, that we were friends; only those who knew us best sensed the irritated tension that often arose, the bit back insults, the witty retorts swallowed. Occasionally, in the awkward silences that would have previously been filled with insults I can see a kind of passion in his eyes that I can't indentify and it makes me want to shake him until he just says what he's holding back. Of course this only further aggravates the prickling irritation that always comes with an encounter with Potter- and I think the real reason I so strongly dislike him more than anyone else is because of the difference in him around everyone else, around everyone else the laughter, the joking, the flirting, the teasing, the fierce loyalty and most of all the passion; the winning personality that makes all the other boys want to be him and all the girls fall at his feet, comes back in full force. It makes me feel like I draw the life out of him.

However as I walk through the barrier to board the train to Hogwarts for the final time I try to convince myself I've made my decision:

_I really couldn't care less._

**A/N: **The rest of the story will be written in third person :)


	2. New Starts

**Disclaimer: **All belongs to JKR

**Chapter One: New Starts**

It's at 10.38am on September the 1st that Lily Evans steps through the barrier to Platform 9 and ¾ for the beginning of her seventh year at Hogwarts. She'd had to insist that her parents not bring her to the station this year. She'd used the argument that she could apparate, making it pointless for them to drive her all the way from Cokeworth. While this was true, the real reasoning was that it was becoming increasingly dangerous to draw attention to the fact she's muggle born. While Lily knew she was bound to be targeted once she started her Auror training, she figured she should give the Death Eaters as few reasons to target her or her family as possible before then and keeping her parents distant from the wizarding world should hopefully keep them safe.

As usual she doesn't see any of her friends in the crowds so she boards the train, deciding to change into her robes and head to the prefect meeting. She can find Alice and Marlene after she's met the new head boy and organised the prefects, after the last two years of having her post summer catch ups interrupted for start of term meetings she came to realise nothing is more infuriating than sitting through them having to guess the second half of either Marlene or Alice's usually very entertaining stories of summer antics! Being Head Girl this year, everything is bound to take twice as long, having to answer the new fifth year prefects questions and organise the first weeks patrol schedule with the Head Boy, whoever he was this year.

She's not given much thought as to who it's going to be this year, Remus Lupin (the one Marauder she can tolerate) had shocked Lily at the end of last year when he had told her he was going to ask Dumbledore not to consider him for the role, the rest of the school had been certain that the two would eventually make co heads since the prefect badges were sent out before their fifth year. So all summer she had avoided thinking about who could possibly receive the role in his place.

There were only three other potential candidates: The Hufflepuff prefect, Amos Diggory, a kind yet pompous boy from Hufflepuff who took a shine to Lily only once she made prefect. Although kind, he's a fickle friend, always making a special effort to sit next to her in Potions, mainly so he can tell Slughorn on many occasions how 'close' they are, just to go up in the equally fickle Professors estimations, essentially, he's a creep. The Ravenclaw prefect, Stephen Corner, a lovely boy who is ridiculously clever and nice to everyone, just far too quiet to pull off the role. Anyway, Lily suspects he may have also removed himself from the running after hearing Remus did, out of fear he might actually get the job! And of course, the Slytherin prefect and Lily's once best friend, Severus Snape. Realistically, she knows that Dumbledore would have to be off his rocker to make Severus her co head, even without the incident by the lake, all the rumours regarding him having joined the Death Eater's with Avery and Mulciber are bound to have reached the staff... But the thing is, Dumbledore _is _off his rocker, she can see him doing just that hoping she can rehabilitate him. Normally, this wouldn't bother her, as when it comes to her responsibilities she considers herself the height of professionalism- her main problem is the fact that the two heads have to share a private dormitory!

As Lily starts to panic she wonders why she didn't think this through when she first got the badge, of course she could have just returned it, she knew she couldn't work with Amos or Severus, but no, she was too proud and ambitious. So she sits in the carriage alone, knowing she awaits either a creep or her former best friend, as she considers hiding at the other end of the train and owling ahead to Dumbledore and asking if it's too late to resign, she hears footsteps-

"_Shit!" _she hisses, however before she can think through an escape route, the door slides open,  
>"Ah, Evans. Erm, yeah... Thought it'd be you." she sighs inwardly as the last person she wants to see in her current frame of mind stands in the doorway,<br>"Is there a problem Potter?" she snaps,  
>"Erm, no." He says, confusedly,<br>"Well Remus isn't here yet Potter, the rest of the prefects aren't needed for another 15 minutes at least, so you have plenty of time to get up to whatever you've got planned before I need him here." She was being cold but didn't have the energy to care; it was just like him to show up now when she's on the verge of a full blown panic!  
>"I know Evans, I just saw him."<br>"Then what can I help you with?"  
>The now familiar awkward silence returned, he ruffled his hair, an annoying habit he'd developed in third year after he'd been picked for the Gryffindor Quidditch team.<br>"Well it's more what can I help you with I guess" he tailed off looking nervous, he hated this as much as she did, he missed their arguments, the only times he knew her attention was only on him, but he knew it wasn't getting him anywhere, he didn't care so much about his NEWT's as long as he was friends with Lily Evans by the time he graduated, he could work on anything else after.  
>"Potter stop talking in Riddles!" she snapped, he's taken aback by her tone; he was only trying to be polite. Deciding nothing he says can help him, He points to his new badge, next to the Quidditch Captain one he attained last year, apparently this was also the wrong thing to do-<br>"Shit... Shit, shit, shit! _You're _Head Boy?"  
>"Well I'm not exactly thrilled either Evans." He lied, raising his voice at her for the first time in over a year.<br>"But you weren't even prefect!" she practically shrieks, her eyes brows are jumping off her head, he's shouting as well now,  
>"Well what did you expect Dumbledore to do? Once Remus said he didn't want it he was hardly left with a lot of choice!"<br>"Oh be realistic Potter! How is this going to work?" she spat the words at him, he pauses for a moment and fakes an air of nonchalance,  
>"What do you mean?"<br>"You know exactly what I mean! We haven't even managed to fake a civil conversation, let alone actually mean it!" He scoffs, but he hates the fact that the way things are going right now, she's probably right, but he proceeds to look her in the eye properly.

She is reminded of the time he cornered her after her Charms practical OWL and begged her to give him a chance; she had lied and said she'd think about it, unable to put out the hope that had been in his eyes. Luckily for her conscience and his heart, the events at the lake had meant she'd never had to tell him that she'd reached a decision.

"I know..." he says and there's another awkward silence, she avoids his stare and once again considers owling Dumbledore and asking if it's too late to resign?  
>"Ugh! This is fucking ridiculous Evans! We're both adults, we're both of age, can't we just put this, whatever it is behind us and attempt to get on!" She finally looks him in the eye, he looks annoyed, but he also look sincere and she really doesn't want to have to give up the position. So she sighs resignedly,<br>"I guess we can do that."  
>"Good. I'll be back in 10 minutes for the meeting." He turns on his heel and heads for the door, unable to keep the smile off his face,<br>"Oi! Potter!" she snaps at him, inwardly cursing herself for falling at the first hurdle,  
>"You've never been a prefect, I need to show you the ropes so you actually be of some use in this meeting." she adds a smile at the end to be safe.<br>"If we're serious about this whole getting along thing, you should know that my friends call me James" he's jokes, not sure if he's irritating her already,  
>"Not Jay then? Or Jamie?" she says with a raised eyebrow and a sickly sweet smile, remembering his nicknames awarded to him by ex girlfriends.<p>

Ok, clearly he had touched a nerve. He feels annoyed remembering how he'd regularly had to resist the urge to curse any of his exes whenever one of them had used the terms of endearment, before he realises that she too was joking, so he grins,  
>"Touché!" pleased with herself, she smirks back at him,<br>"I should fill you in on the basics before the prefects arrive then."

They make their way through the meeting ok, despite James somehow managing to unintentionally get on her nerves at least twice every minute! She considers that you'd be mistaken for thinking he was some sort of God the way girls go doe eyed every time they see him and lads all pander to him asking if he has any details on the traditional first week prank yet, he grins and looks at Lily before telling them egotistically that he has a few ideas in the pipeline, she supposes she should calm down though, she knows he wouldn't love himself so much if everyone else would stop acting like he's God's gift to mankind.

Once they assign everyone their days for the first week of patrols everyone gradually files out of the carriage and she hastily packs up the papers, eager to find her friends and tell them of Dumbledore's moment of madness,  
>"Erm Lily, do you think I could have a word?" he's stood behind her looking nervous, he wants to ask everything about her, he wants to apologise for being an arse for the past 6 years, he wants to tell her he loves her and he's more than aware she wants to go, but he wants to talk to her, he wants her. After what feels like a lifetime to him, she finally looks up only to catch Severus lingering in the doorway, his face impassive. As he see's she's clocked him he turns and strides away. James turns around in time to see his cloak whip out of sight and the compartment door slide shut behind him.<br>"Lil..." he says sympathetically,  
>"It's fine, honestly! Don't sound so worried!" she lies, she's honestly not sure how she feels about the Severus issue anymore, she's gone through all the anger and hurt and stopped pining for the friend she lost, it's left her not really sure how to think of him. She doesn't talk about it to anyone, despite her confusion, but in her mind Potter is hardly the person to discuss the matter with. Neither of them need reminding of the reason for their hostility when they've not even been attempting friendship for half an hour.<br>"So... that word?" he asks again, the edge of nerves returning to his voice,  
>"Actually, can it wait until later?" asking him more out of politeness as she's already started walking to the door,<br>"I've not seen Alice or Marlene yet." She's reached the door at this point, her hand poised to slide it open, she's eager to be out of his company and left to wonder why Severus was watching her,  
>"Yeah sure, it can wait until rounds." He nods<br>"Great, I'll come and find you before we arrive and have to herd the first years!" she laugh, he rolls his eyes, but smiles,  
>"Can't wait."<br>She slides the door closed behind her and walks out of sight before shutting her eyes, already exhausted and allows the false smile she's forced to stay on her face while talking to him drop; it was going to be a long year! Taking a deep breath she continues to drag her trunk along the train, looking for her best friends and their usual compartment.

He smiles, as he remembers he still has a year.

**A/N: **Reviews = Love :)


	3. Catching Up

**Disclaimer: **All owned by JKR

**A/N: **Hello again! Thank you for reading the prologue and first chapter, I hope you all enjoyed? I just finished proofing the second chapter (I am in need of a beta if anyone's interested?) I am going to pre warn you that there is little mention of James in this chapter andI know this goes on a bit, but we all know quite a lot about the dynamic between The Marauders from the books, but nothing is said about who Lily is friends with other than Snape. So I just wanted a chapter that gave you a bit of an idea about who I thought Lily might have been friends with etc. I am at my Aunt's house at the moment where I have access to wifi but I don't on my laptop at home at the moment so I'll be unable to update until I'm back at Uni in mid September, but I shall continue writing! I'd love to hear off any readers so feel free to drop a review or a message- you'd make my day! Also I tried to work on my grammar in terms of speech, is this more correct? I'm never quite sure.

Enjoy (Hopefully anyway!) -  
>weasley-is-your-king<p>

**Chapter 2: Catching Up**

Before going to Hogwarts, Lily had thought being muggle born would have made it hard for her to make friends at Hogwarts. Not because of the prejudice of the war, the majority of the other students considered the war on blood status to be ridiculous; simply because many of them already knew each other, or at least knew of each other, with the wizarding community being so tightly knit. Her being muggle born meant that she had very little of the basic knowledge of the wizarding world the others had grown up with.

Once she had been sorted into Gryffindor and separated from Severus, she had felt completely lost. Luckily, she had sat next to Marlene McKinnon, who took her under her wing and had her back throughout the welcome feast, helping her through the questions she couldn't answer and even defended her when James had asked if she was "ignorant or just stupid?" They had been best friends ever since. Even then Mary was a definite beauty, nowadays she was even more so. She had long, dark hair which fell in soft curls to her middle back, vivid blue eyes and was pale skinned, she stood at nearly 5 ft 9" and had curves that any girl would die for and any boy would long for and although she had quite pointy features, a sharp chin and nose and defined cheek bones, her personality shone through, helping soften them. Although her sharp features did help in an argument, nobody would openly cross Marlene; she had an ability to make a person feel 2 inches tall if she had too.

By the end of the first week, fellow Gryffindor Alice Nicholson had also joined their group; she'd been partnered with Lily and Marlene in their first Herbology lesson for a homework assignment and had turned out to be a kind hearted and loyal friend, with a witty sense of humour and fun nature. She was also very pretty, with should length blonde hair and brown eyes. She was pale but not to the extent of Marlene, she was the smallest of the group at 5f 5" and like Marlene she had curves. She was by no means fat, but she had a round face that shone kindly. Everyone liked Alice and she liked everyone until given a firm reason not to; it was this sunny disposition that made her look younger than her 17 years. She balanced out the often volatile tempers of Lily and Marlene. All three of them were regarded as beautiful, kind hearted and fiercely intelligent.

Once Lily finally reached their standard compartment the first thing she heard made her want to turn around and walk back out again, but she's already entered and Marlene is ready to involve her in the conversation they have at least two or three times a year.

The whole school knew that Marlene McKinnon had liked Remus Lupin since fourth year. They served a detention together after they'd had a massive argument in the Great Hall. The Marauders had decided it would be funny to turn her hair blue the night before her birthday party, unfortunately Marlene didn't find this funny and poor Remus (who hadn't been the one to come up with the idea for the prank or to execute it) happened to be the first of the four she ran in to. She wouldn't even tell Lily or Alice what had happened in that detention- all anyone one knew is that she had come back determined they would be together. However, while he clearly liked her back, (most of the boys in school had some sort of thing for her) he seemed insistent on pushing her away. It was this that started her regular crisis of confidence. The thing is with Marlene, was that once in one of these moods, she could go on for _hours. _Even if she wasn't widely regarded as the best looking girl in school it would be annoying! Alice gave Lily a pained look, silently begging her to do something, causing Lily to fail in holding back her urge to laugh,

"You alright there Marl?" she laughed, Marlene paused her tirade,

"Hi Lil!" she quickly turned back to Alice as Lily took her seat next to her,

"Now you see Lily here, is a great height, you're what Lil? 5ft 6?"

"Yes..."

"You see Alice, girls like Lil who are 5ft 6 have the best of everything, they can wear heels and still be shorter than their boyfriend, while also giving them fabulously shaped legs, but they don't have to wear them every time they see him just so they can kiss him without being sat down! Maybe that's it, maybe I'm too tall?" She stopped ranting and sighed, "It's a shame, my legs look so much better in heels, they look longer which balances out my fat thighs. Which is of course the main reason he doesn't like me, I'm too fat!" She huffed,

"Marls you aren't fat." Alice soothed, she was far too patient with her for Lily's liking, Marlene may be one of her best friends, but in her opinion, she needed a slap when she got like this,

"I'm 6ft 1 at the very least in a proper pair of heels! It's far too tall, I look like a giantess and I'm at least the same height as most of the boys in our year with them on, if not taller." she went on sulking, ignoring Alice.

"Ok Marls, enough. What's he done now?" Lily stated, causing Marlene to look affronted

"What makes you think he's done something?" she defended,

"Don't play dumb- you know what I mean! You only get like this when there's Remus trouble. What's happened?"

"I don't want to tell you."

"Why? What's he done?"

"Why do you always assume it's him that's in the wrong?"

"Well, at least tell me what's gone on and then I can decide for myself whose fault it is." Lily reasoned,

"You'll be angry with me"

"You haven't done something stupid have you?"

"Maybe..." Anyone who knew of Marlene would instantly know this would be bad, she _never _admits when she's in the wrong even when she knows it, she's too stubborn. Lily glares at her pointedly,

"I kissed Sirius Black this summer."

"Marlene!" Lily looks at her in shock, Alice is practically gaping, she clearly didn't know either.

"More than once!" Marlene exclaims with her hands covering her face in shame.

"More than once as in several times in one day? Or on separate occasions?" Lily asked, still in shock,

"Separate occasions." By now Marlene had covered her face with her hands in mortification,

"But what about Remus?" asked an obviously confused Alice.

"I was sick of throwing myself at him and getting nowhere, it's so humiliating! _So..._ I figured if I kissed Sirius he would get madly jealous and beg me to be his girlfriend..."  
>Marlene McKinnon may match her and Alice in intelligence, but sometimes Lily thinks she was missing when the common sense was being handed out.<p>

"You thought he'd want you as his girlfriend after you kissed one of his best friends?" Alice asks, mirroring Lily's thoughts.

"I already told you it was stupid. You'll be happy to know it completely backfired on me anyway."

"What happened?" Alice asked, looking guilty,

"Sirius told me that he'd liked me for years but he never thought I'd felt the same, he kept going on about how happy he was and how this was going to be something special..." she tailed off, looking sad,

"And..." Lily asked, practically on the edge of her seat,

"And now... I think I'm his girlfriend." They're all silent, shock in the air, Marlene can barely tolerate Sirius on the best of days,

"Sounds like you've had quite a summer there." Lily says dryly, there's a pause before they start to laugh, then it becomes contagious, none of them can stop and before Lily even realises, she's slumped on the seat crying with laughter, clutching her stomach in a vague attempt to hold herself together. Occasionally she catches Marlene or Alice's eye and the laughter between them is renewed. Eventually they calm down and slip in to a companionable silence.

Although Lily didn't want to talk about it, she knew she had to tell them about Potter being Head Boy, after a few minutes of watching Marlene reading an old copy of Witch Weekly, probably looking for some tips on her newly developed love triangle and Alice doing the crossword in the Daily Prophet she finally broached the subject,

"Well Marls, at least you don't have to live with Sirius." she said pointedly, Alice's head snapped up,

"Oh Merlin Lil, I completely forgot, Remus took himself out the running didn't he! Is it bad news?"

"It's not good news" she sighed, wanting to avoid telling them for as long as possible.

"Well I'm sure if you ask Dumbledore he'll let you stay in the Gryffindor dormitory, he knows about everything that went on with you and Snape." Marlene smiled sympathetically,

"It's not Snape."

"Diggory? Because you know, he's really not that bad." Alice states. She takes a deep breath, ready to face the storm-

"It's Potter." There's a long pause as the girls gape at her and just as she thinks she can't take anymore silence,

"James Potter? As in, leader of The Marauders, Quidditch Captain and chief trouble maker is Head Boy?" Alice says wide eyed,

"You forgot massive man slut, our dorm is going to be like a brothel." Lily sighs, then suddenly for the first time she realises, what it will actually be like sharing a dorm with him. She's going to be unable to work in her own common room, Potter will almost surely be using the space to plan pranks with The Marauders, or entertain girls, she'd be a prisoner in her own room after curfew, the thought left her seething.

"Well, maybe this is a good thing?" Alice suggested after a long pause.

"Tell me Alice, how is this _ever _a good thing?"

"Well... He has matured a fair bit recently and it does give you a chance to end this ridiculous feud you've had going since first year." She said uncertainly,

"That's what he said as well." Lily said despondently, suddenly feeling a bit childish for being so angry over the situation, so far he had honestly tried to be friendly, but in her mind this didn't change facts- they had only just managed to be friends for a half hour and they had to make it work for a whole year.

"And as for the whole brothel remark, James hasn't dated anyone since fifth year." Marlene stated matter-of-factly,

"Him dating isn't what bothers me." She said pointedly, wanting to hold onto a reason to be irritated over his appointment,

"Yes Lily I know exactly what bothers you and he hasn't done that with anyone since fifth year either and for what it's worth, I don't think half the stories out there about him are actually true." Marlene snapped,

"Oh yeah! How would you know Marlene- keeping track of him are you?" Lily snapped, riled by her friends defence of James,

"Because," Marlene started, "If you cast your mind back to fourth year, there was a rumour going round that I had slept with him and Sirius within a week of each other, if you care to remember." She wasn't shouting anymore, but her tone was a lot colder.

Lily instantly felt guilty- Marlene had quite a few male admirers at Hogwarts which meant she didn't make friends with girls easily, quite the contrary actually; most girls couldn't stand her out of jealousy, although they would cite other reasons. When it became apparent that Marlene liked Remus, many girls set out to keep them apart, spreading many vicious rumours about her. The one about her sleeping with two of The Marauders, when she had her heart set on another, whilst completely untrue had resulted in her life becoming a misery for the rest of her fourth year, receiving hate mail off of the more malicious girls who like her, had fallen for the charms of Remus Lupin.

"Sorry Marls." Lily relented,

"It's ok Lil; just give him a chance, y'know. You can't believe everything you hear about a person." She warned,

"I promised him we'd try and be friends." Lily replied sullenly,

"You're doing the right thing love." Alice smiled

"So!" Lily exclaimed, desperate for a change of subject, "Anything exciting to tell from over the holidays Alice?"

"Not really, just the same old, spent a lot of time with Frank." Alice replied, unusually gloomy,

"Ah how is it going with the lovely Frank?" Marlene asked,

"It's not." Alice replied

"What! He's still not got the hint?" Lily exclaimed,

"Worse, he's started dating Violet Harvey, you know, that Ravenclaw girl." Alice moaned,

"Sorry Al." Marlene comforted,

"I just thought something was finally going to happen, y'know."

"Does he actually know how you feel about him?" Lily enquired

"Yeah, I'm sure he does."

"She means have you actually told him yet?"

"Well... Not in so many words... This is irrelevant, there's nothing I can do about this now, he has a girlfriend and that's that. What we _should _be discussing is how to get you out of this hole you've dug yourself into with Sirius Black! " She pointed to Marlene, "_Or,_ working out how to make sure you can live with James Potter for a year without ending up on trial for the murder in front of the entire Wizengamot!" She pointed to Lily,

"Hey, Al! Just because you're annoyed at yourself for letting Frank slip through your fingers, _again- _you're not allowed to take it out on us!" Marlene warned, after a pause Alice sighed in resignation,

"I know... It's just, well, I'd finally decided to bite the bullet like you guys told me to, then last week when I went to his house, I was all set to tell him, we'd been flirting all summer, well at least I was sure we had! So I turned up and started telling him how much he meant to me, I didn't even get to finish telling him and he gave me the 'great friend' speech."

"Boy's ey- useless, the lot of them." Marlene said,

"I know, then he kept going on about how he'd run into Violet in Diagon Alley and they had loads in common and blah blah blah. I just wanted to cry... or hit him. Why does he insist on being such a prick? Well he's not a prick, he's just... a friend, I guess."

Alice had indeed been friends with Frank Longbottom practically since birth, however had been in love with him since their third year at Hogwarts. Unfortunately for Alice he seemed completely oblivious to the fact. Frank was what was the girls refered to as a 'long term relationship junkie' pretty much as soon as Alice had realised how she felt about Frank he had gotten together with his first girlfriend, Phillipa Smith who was on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team with him, that had lasted until mid fourth year, he had then basically dived straight into a relationship with Mary Macdonald, another Gryffindor girl in their year. They had met when Frank had found her after she'd been attacked by Mulciber and Avery just before their exams that year, he had devastated Alice when he had come to her at the end of July and asked her if it was insensitive to ask Mary out so soon after her attack. It had been awful for Alice that year, listening to Mary go on about how much of an amazing boyfriend Frank was every night in their dormitory and it had amused Lily and Marlene how she'd barely been able to contain her glee when Mary had come back to Gryffindor Tower in tears the night before they went home for the summer at the end of the last term. And now here we are barely 2 months later and he was already in another relationship. It wasn't that Lily thought Frank was a bad person, she just hated the way he would continually build up her friends hopes only to once again break her heart.

"I hate to say it Al, but it sounds like you have the same problem as Marls."

"What? I've got myself into a relationship with a person I can barely tolerate, in the hope I can trick Frank into wanting to date me?"

"Not unless there's something you're not telling us." Lily joked,

"I mean, you're both in love with men who are refusing to reciprocate and quite frankly, no pun intended, you both deserve better."

"You know Marls, she's right, screw Frank and Remus- we're good looking girls, we're intelligent, any bloke would be lucky to have either of us! You as well Lil."

"Glad to see I'm not forgotten." Lily laughed

"So what do you reckon Marls, by Christmas I'm over Frank and you're over Remus?" Alice held out her hand,

"Yeah. Screw him, he had his chance." Marlene said fiercely and shook Alice's hand.

"So I need you to make sure that I stay away from Frank, I'll keep you out of Remus' way, we need to just forget them, yeah?"

"Yeah definitely." Marlene nodded, "You know, I think I'm going to give this thing with Sirius a go." She continued after a pause,

"What! Marls, you can barely stand the boy." Lily said, surprised,

"I know, but he really likes me and he was alright over the summer. Plus I need someone to help me get over Remus and he's not a bad kisser." Marlene shrugged.

"I think this'll be good for us, new starts, y'know. Me over Frank, Marls over Remus, and Lily finally giving James a chance." Alice smiled, going back to her crossword

"Yeah... Hopefully." Lily said, not so sure.


	4. The First Night

**Disclaimer: **All belongs to the amazing JKR

**Chapter 3: The First Night**

As promised, went to get James from The Marauders traditional compartment before their arrival in Hogsmeade,  
>"Alright Evans!" Sirius Black greeted jovially,<p>

"I assume Marls told you the good news?" he smiled. Lily could see what Marlene meant, he really did like her, his whole face seemed to be lit up with his smile and rather than the usual forced laughter and need to be funny he seemed a lot more relaxed. She looked at Remus, he appeared to be focused on reading this year's Defence textbook, but his eyes weren't moving and his knuckles were white, he was gripping the book so hard.

"Of course she did Black, I'm very pleased for you both." Lily smiled amicably,

"Alright Evans shall we make a move?" James said getting up,

"Yes, we probably should." Lily said looking out of the window.

"Ok, see you later lads!" he called as he made his way out of the compartment.

"I have to call you James but you can still call me Evans?" Lily rebuked once the door was shut,

"Sorry Lil, force of habit." James said sheepishly

"It's ok. Do you actually know what we're meant to be doing by the way?"

"Erm, no. Sorry, I'm still new to all this." He apologised

"It's ok" Lily lied, she knew he'd have received all the same information as she did, of course he hadn't read it. "Well basically, we've been given a list of all the new students starting, there are 42. So basically, our job is to make sure that when Hagrid leaves for the boats he has 42 11 year olds with him."

"That sounds doable."

* * *

><p>As it turned out, it was doable, just. They were at the end of their tethers by the time they had sent the 42 first years off to the boats with Hagrid. They'd had to find 3 lost pets, a place to change into her robes for a girl who'd forgotten to on the train and even a student, who it turned out got in the way of a body bind curse and was found lying in the corridor of the Hogwarts Express. Then a couple of boys thought it would be funny to set James' robes on fire while he was trying to find out if anyone knew who had cast the body bind on the lost boy. Thankfully there was still a carriage for them when they finally made their way over.<p>

"I was never that bad when I was a first year!" James exclaimed as they clambered into the carriage,

"No, you weren't _quite _as bad, although I do remember you putting itching powder down the Head Boy's trousers." Said Lily, laughing at the memory

"Well he had it coming, he was a self important prick." James laughed with her,

"You mean a lot like yourself?" Lily joked, James chose to ignore her,

"I swear they're getting shorter as well." He frowned, brushing the singed edges off of the bottom of his robes,

"Here, let me." Lily reached for the end of his robes, muttered an incantation and the fabric fixed itself, as if it had never been burnt.

"Thanks." James said quietly,

"It's ok, I had to learn that one fairly early on, kept singing the hem of my skirt on the fire in Potions." Lily stated, deciding to ignore how close their faces had been as she sat up.

"I still don't know how you kept managing to do that!" James said shaking his head.

"Me neither!" Lily half laughed. After that they slipped into silence, Lily couldn't help but compare the silence to that which herself Alice and Marlene would sit in occasionally. While this silence wasn't as awkward as the ones on the train, they didn't have the sense of ease that she'd have with her friends. Why was that? Why is it that when you're around certain people you feel the need to fill every silence? Perhaps the silences were so awkward because you spent them frantically trying to think of something to say?

"So, what do you make of Sirius and Marlene?" For the first time Lily was thankful for James' ability to make conversation flow with ease, it was the same ability that allowed him to talk his way out of any trouble he may find himself in, something that frustrated Lily to no end.

"I'm happy for them, it's nice they found each other."

"I guess so, you're not surprised?" James asked

"No, not at all." Lily lied, James looked at her sceptically,

"Ok, I was completely speechless." Lily relented

"Me too" James admitted, there was another silence, "I was quite angry with Sirius about the whole thing when he told me actually."

"Really, why?" Lily asked, curiosity spiked,

"Do you need to ask? Remus has liked Marlene for a fair while now. He may not have ever directly told Marlene, but he _has_ told the lads and it's just the rules, you know. You don't date girls your friend likes. I'm sure you girls are the same, I'm sure Remus and Frank have been completely off limits to you ."

"Well, yes that is true. But Remus has had 2 and half years to make his move, if Sirius really likes her and she likes him, why shouldn't they give it a go?" Lily reasoned,

"That's what Sirius said." James sighed,

"But aren't you just a little bit sceptical Lil? Marlene couldn't stand the sight of Sirius until this summer. It was about as unpredicted as if you had jumped me in the Heads compartment earlier or something, it just came out of nowhere." James asked,

"I couldn't stand the sight of you until a few hours ago and look at us now, a whole hour and we haven't shouted at each other once!" Lily laughed, hoping the joke would distract James from the truth he'd stumbled upon.

"Yeah I suppose so." James smiled.

Honestly, James couldn't believe his luck! Even if he was under threat of death, he wouldn't be able to recall an actual occasion where he and Lily had spent this amount of time together and hadn't gotten into some form of argument. When he suggested they start anew, he hadn't even been sure if she'd agree, let alone actually sharing jokes with him a few hours later! He'd always been convinced that once he was friends with Lily, their natural chemistry would show her they were meant to be together, he'd thought that gaining her friendship and proving to her that he wasn't the arrogant arsehole she thought him would be the hard part, but she already seemed to have forgotten all that. Frankly, it was a bloody miracle! But then a horrible thought occurred to him,

"Hey Lil, you're not pretending are you?"

"What?"

"I mean, you don't still think I'm an arrogant arsehole?" Lily laughed,

"Of course I do James. But I'm learning to accept that it's part of who you are. Now come on, we're here." She smiled. Somewhat deflated, James followed her out of the carriage.

The two fell into silence as the castle came into view. Lily, who usually would be excited to get to the welcome feast, had her mind firmly elsewhere. Not even a few hours previously, she'd had to lie through her teeth to keep up the appearance of being James Potter's friend. But right now, she was genuinely smiling around him, for once he was actually being polite, not the awkward politeness that he used around her last year and he was joking with her! Quite honestly, she wasn't sure why she was so enthralled by this fact, she supposed it was because it makes her life a lot easier if they got on, especially with them having to live together, however she couldn't ignore the small thrill she'd felt every time he'd laughed at her joke or they had agreed on something. She looked over at him and smiled at the small frown that adorned his face, she supposed it was nice that he cared so much what she thought of him and she shouldn't be leaving things sour between them when they'd gotten on so well,

"If it's any consolation James, you've not been an arrogant arsehole that much today..." Lily teased as they walked up the path to Hogwarts; James rolled his eyes, but eventually smiled.

"Yeah, Yeah."

As they walked into the Great Hall, they saw for the first time since the welcome feast in their first year, both their groups of friends sat together. Sirius was sat with his arm around Marlene's waist, they were deep in conversation, opposite were Alice and Peter who were laughing together while Remus was sat on Peter's other side, looking determinedly anywhere else but Sirius and Marlene. There were two opposite seats free, one next to Sirius and the other next to Alice,

"Ah. The fun continues." James said wryly, looking at Remus

"Can't be fun being stuck in the middle, I don't pity you." Lily consoled, she paused for a moment then frowned, "Do you think I should tell Dumbledore about the duelling on the train? Y'know about the first year."

"Yeah that's probably for the best. You take a seat, I'll go." James offered.

"You sure? I don't mind doing it."

"No, it's ok, anything to be away from the happy couple for a few more minutes!" he grinned. Lily couldn't help but smile as she sat down at the table. Maybe this year wouldn't be as back as she thought?

"What's got you so happy then?" Alice teased, seeing Lily's grin.

"Nothing really, I just... Don't think this year's going to be as horrific as I first thought." She smiled. Lily wasn't naive enough to think that James had completely changed due to his behaviour over the last few hours, but if he was willing to make an effort, why shouldn't she do the same? A few moments later James took his seat at the bench opposite Lily.

"Alright mate, first years give you any grief?"

"Course they did! Little buggers set my robes on fire!" James explained,

"No worries Prongsie old pal, we'll get them tomorrow. They won't know what hit them!" Sirius grinned,

"As Head Girl I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Lily reprimanded

"Ah Lil you don't understand," Sirius started, "It's like a code between pranksters, these little firsties know exactly what they're doing. Every wizarding child knows of the Potter's and James has quite the reputation as a trouble maker. We get challengers every year, kids who think they can beat us at our own game, they prank us on day one then the prank war ensues until we have reclaimed our title as King pranksters." He explained with a grin.

"So last year, when I spent the majority of September trying to work out who kept pranking the first years, it was you lot?" Lily said, shocked.

"Yep." Sirius smiled.

"Remus! I can't believe you didn't tell me!" Lily admonished. Remus started at the mention of his name,

"Sorry, what?"

"I can't believe you didn't tell me it was you guys pranking the first years, you were Prefect with me- I lost a lot of sleep over that last year!"

"Oh does it really matter?" He snapped in reply.

"Erm, no I guess it doesn't, sorry." Lily said awkwardly

"Bit harsh Moony." James frowned

"It doesn't matter James, honestly." Lily half smiled. However before the silence could set in Professor Dumbledore started the sorting. The hat once again sang a variation of the same song, until Voldemort had begun being a threat to the wizarding community in her sixth year and the hat had warned the students to unite on the right side, Lily had wondered whether it simply had a rotation of songs correctly organised so that no year group ever heard the same one twice, otherwise how many times can one brain rewrite the same song? It was half way through the sorting before Lily realised she hadn't eaten since breakfast that morning and of course this had to be the moment Sirius chose to start moaning about his grumbling stomach. After a while Lily stopped paying attention and started playing with her fork, getting it to stand on the prongs, then levitate, before spinning slightly, she was in the middle of watching the fork spin in a particularly erratic fashion when she felt James give her a swift kick under the table, she looked up in annoyance,

"The Head Girl should set an example and pay attention to the sorting." He said in a stern whisper not unlike that of McGonagall, but his eyes were laughing, Lily raised her eyebrows,

"So should the Head Boy." She retorted, before turning to the front and feigning attention but her stomach was thankful that it wasn't long before she saw McGonagall carry the sorting hat away and Dumbledore stood up once again,

"Now, I'm sure I heard Mr Black start moaning about his stomach at least half an hour ago, which means that once again our sorting must have gone on a bit! So I won't jabber on- Tuck in!"

"Finally!" Sirius exclaimed, however he was drowned out by laughter and wide spread chatter among the awe and gasps of the first years as the feast appeared on the table before them, Lily smiled as she took in the scene, before frowning slightly as she remembered this was the last one she would attend as a student,

"S'matter Lil? Thought you were starving?" James forced out through a large mouthful of mash potatoes,

"Nothing." She said. James was fairly sure it wasn't nothing, but decided to leave it for now. Lily, now beginning to help herself to the feast, was unusually quiet for the rest of the meal. The rest of the feast passed in relative ease, Sirius and Marlene continuing to flirt quietly, James and Alice mocking Peter over his Quidditch team, Puddlemere United managing to come bottom of the Quidditch league once again, while Lily and Remus remained virtually silent, both appearing to be listening to James and Alice's continuous tirade of insults towards Puddlemere, contributing periodically to avoid anyone picking up on their silence. Towards the end of Pudding Professor McGonagall came striding towards the Gryffindor table, stopping when she arrived at Lily and James,

"When Professor Dumbledore says you can leave I shall meet you by the portrait of the four founders on the seventh floor and before you ask Miss Evans, no- the prefects will not need assistance with the first years, you managed perfectly well without the help of the Head Boy and Girl the previous two years, as can the current prefects." She half smiled at Lily with a hint of amusement in her eyes before she walked away,

"Silly question I suppose, but were you actually going to ask?" Marlene teased,

"Yeah I was actually, I always used to get annoyed at the Head Boy and Girl for vanishing after the feast and not helping us with the first years and password distribution, guess I know why now." Lily admitted, as Dumbledore once again rose from his chair.

"Now that even Mr Black has had his fill of our glorious feast, I have a few start of term notices for you: First years and some of our older students who may need reminding, the Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason, magic is not permitted in the corridors and Mr Filch has asked me to request that you all familiarise yourself with the list of banned items posted on the door to his office, which has been added to over the summer. I would like to congratulate our new Head Boy and Girl, James Potter and Lily Evans; should you have any problems with the school you wish them to address or if you have any personal problems you don't want to talk through with a teacher they will be happy to help."

"There is no way I am playing counsellor to a load of whiny kids." James said in a panicked whisper to Lily across the table once they had smiled bashfully during a round of polite applause and attention was averted from them.

"It'll only be homesick first years for the first couple of weeks I reckon, that's how it usually goes." Lily replied, slightly irritated at how easily he brushed off the responsibility. However she ignored it and turned her focus back to Dumbledore,

"As far as I am aware it's only the Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw teams that need to hold tryouts this year, any burgeoning Quidditch players should speak to their respective captains to find out trial dates and positions available, Gryffindor's speak to James Potter, Hufflepuff's to Frank Longbottom and Ravenclaw's to Joseph Boot." Lily's heart plummeted to her stomach at the mention of Joe Boot, her ex boyfriend who she was with for the majority of sixth year. He had dark blonde hair which was wavy and somewhere between long and short, Lily hadn't known how to describe it when her parents asked about him the Christmas after they got together. He was a little over 6 foot, he had bluey grey eyes which had always reminded Lily of deep water and he had the kindest face. His looks weren't what attracted her to Joe however, once her friendship with Severus was over, she realised looking back that she had looked for someone who had the same attribute that attracted her to Severus in the first place, his intelligence. Yes, Joe was indeed clever, well-known for it in fact- but ironically it was this fact that split them up. It didn't take long for Lily to realise that Joe felt uncomfortable having a girlfriend who could match him and in some cases excel him both in power and intelligence, though he would have never admitted that. He was always reluctant for them to study together, or even talk about school, once they had this topic for conversation was removed, Lily realised that they actually had very little to talk about. Although the split was both amicable and a mutual decision, she couldn't pretend she didn't still feel something for him; for the most part, he had been a good boyfriend to her. He caught her eye as she looked across the hall to the Ravenclaw table and gave her a small smile which she returned before once again returning her gaze to Dumbledore,

"Now, even if it is only a one day school week this week, we still need you rested for your first day of classes, so I bid you goodnight. If first years would like to follow your house prefects they will guide you to your dormitory where you will find a warm bed awaits you! Goodnight."

Lily and James, both eager to see their dormitory for the first time, were among the first to leave the table; they quickly bade their friend's goodnight and managed to escape the Great Hall before the majority of the students had even gotten up. As they made their way to the seventh floor to meet McGonagall, James became very aware of how close they were walking, he marvelled at her hand accidentally brushing his as he walked up the stairs, the impatient part of him wanted to grab her hand and hold it in his, but realistically, he knew that now wasn't the time, she'd basically told him before the feast she wasn't even nearly close to truly being his friend, but Merlin- did she have any clue how much even a simple touch from her effected him? When she'd fixed his robes in the carriage it had taken all his will power not to kiss her, it was too soon, it was always too soon. The third time the back of her hand brushed against his he turned to look at her, but she wasn't looking at him, in fact, she didn't even appear to realise he was there, after a few seconds of searching her face for any signs that she was touching him on purpose she suddenly spoke,

"You're staring James."

"How did you know?" she hadn't even turned her head to tell him,

"I have a sixth sense" she nearly grinned at his incredulousness,

"Yeah, erm, sorry, old habits die hard I guess." He grinned wryly

"Well stop it, you're creeping me out."

He couldn't help but let out a laugh at this, only Lily could get so edgy over someone staring at her, quite honestly he didn't understand what it was about the attention of others that made her so uneasy- Marlene had told him that summer during one of the days she had spent with the Marauder's (on Sirius' invitation of course) that his constant public displays of affection had been one of the main reasons for her disdain. She had told him how Lily was going to have to be a bridesmaid at her sister Petunia's wedding next Spring and how she wasn't sure which Lily was dreading more, having to walk down the aisle without messing it up, or her sister's constant digs about her not messing it up. That was another thing he was going to have to change, this year it needed to be about her and him; it was irrelevant that everyone else knew how he felt, he didn't need to pull massive stunts to prove that he was right for her- he just needed to prove to her that he would look after her, that he would do anything for her. As they arrived on the seventh floor James mused on how soppy he must sound, he genuinely hated what she did to him, anyone would think he was a girl, but he didn't care and if he wasn't so sure of his feelings he most definitely would.

As they arrived in front of the portrait of the four founders, McGonagall rounded the corner, and Lily had to fight back a sigh of relief, him staring again had unnerved her; if he was so insistent on him being friends, why did he continue to look at her like that, how could she ever be his friend while he was still so clearly feeling _anything _but friendship for her? However she pushed this to the back of her mind as McGonagall came to a stop in front of them.

"First of all, I want to congratulate the two of you on making Head students; although you weren't a conventional choice and even less so a conventional pairing I do have faith that you'll do the school justice and I am proud to have you both come from my house." She briefly gave that infamous half smile that so rarely graced her face. "Now as I'm sure you're aware, this is the location of the Head's dormitory, for now the password is 'Unity' but feel free to change it as you like. As an extra precaution the portrait won't accept the password from anyone other than yourselves or a member of staff and it will automatically reset the password if anyone beside the permitted people gives the correct password. Saying that, you are permitted to have friends in your dormitory before curfew, but they must be accompanied in by one of you. Any questions?"

"Can we go in?" said James, McGonagall almost looked amused before opening the portrait and leading them inside. The common room was not unlike the Gryffindor common room, two squashy arm chairs and a sofa were placed around the hearth which had a fire crackling away, the largest wall was a bookshelf filled with a mixture of muggle and wizarding novels and some more obscure text books. Although they were completely unaware of the others thoughts, both Lily and James' attention was drawn to the grand piano taking up the majority of the space before the staircase, both of them had played from a young age and were pleased that they now didn't have to request the permission of Professor Flitwick whenever they wanted to play. McGonagall gave a small cough and they snapped their eyes away from the piano,

"Up the stairs there are three doors, the first is your bedroom Potter, the second is the bathroom and Miss Evans the last one is yours, the house elves have performed a charm to adjust your rooms to your individual taste and requirements. Now I have to meet with the Headmaster before bed so if you don't have any questions I'll be going..." When neither of them said anything she continued, "You'll both need to be at breakfast early to tomorrow morning to help with timetable distribution, so no later than quarter past 8 please, goodnight." Neither of them moved even after she had left the common room, the silence was almost deafening, even James was struggling to come up with something to say, in his desperation his mind went back to the feast, where he had seen the looks Lily had exchanged with Joe Boot- clearly that was unfinished business, his blood ran cold at the thought of them in this room, on the sofa, or even worse, in her bedroom, kissing, touching and... He couldn't even finish that thought, in his blind panic and burning curiosity he just asked

"So are you and Boot back together?" he recognised his mistake before he the question had even left his lips,

"Sorry Potter, I don't quite understand the relevance of that question?" Lily frowned, what the hell did that have to do with him? It was none of his business and frankly it reminded her of her previous unease when she caught him staring at her on the way here. He just stayed silent, that annoyed her more than anything, when she was about to press him further he finally spoke,

"I was just wondering" he mumbled,

"Well no, we're not, but even so, I don't think it's any of your business and with our new found friendship frankly you shouldn't really care." That stung and James couldn't convince her or himself that it didn't,

"Yes I should Lil, friends care, friends don't want to see each other get hurt and you've been hurt too many times already and yes, I know you're going to say that most of your upset has been caused by me, but now we're friends and I'm, well you know, I'm not going to upset you or let you get hurt or, anything..." he tailed off, she was staring at him, really staring, he wasn't sure whether it was a good thing or not, she seemed to be searching for any sign that he was lying and he wasn't for the most part, however he decided to reassure her, "Anyway, I was mainly asking because I was wondering whether he was likely to be over a lot, I wouldn't want to walk into the dorm and interrupt anything." There was another pause before Lily smiled, seemingly satisfied with his answer,

"Yes, I suppose that's fair enough, well I'm going to get to bed, I'll see you tomorrow." She turned on her heal and went up the staircase to her bedroom and shut the door behind her before he could follow her up the stairs. Not even taking in her room she changed into her pyjamas and collapsed into a double bed, the last thought before sleep claimed her was that perhaps having an overly protective James around wasn't such a bad thing?

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><p><strong>AN: **A bit more Lily, James action there, well not really, but y'know, it is early days yet! I got really bad writers block towards the end, so I just sat down and forced myself to write, so I'm not too happy with the end of it, but I just wanted to get it finished and posted. I NOW HAVE WIFI! Yes I know, happy days all round! However this also coincides with the start of my lectures, giving me much less writing time, I will still aim to update as frequently as possible!

I just want to thank the people who have subscribed and are following the story, you're all the reason I want to write and it means a lot that you're enjoying TTATTTB! I would love to hear off some more of you- so please review or PM me, I live for feedback haha! But honestly, thank you for everything!

Until we meet again-

weasley-is-your-king


	5. Arrogance

**Disclaimer: **All belongs to JKR

**A/N: **I can only apologise profusely for my lack of update, nearly 5 months! Honestly the time just flew, semester one at uni was just crazy busy, really crazy busy and somehow my 'quiet Christmas' turned out to be anything but. It also didn't help that I had the most monumental writers block, I spent a long time just staring at the screen willing the chapter to just spring to life in my head, unfortunately the characters wouldn't comply, annoying! Hopefully it's not too awful? I just needed a transition to get to the next bit and that was mainly what I struggled with, which leads me to my kind of intro to the chapter!

This chapter was actually meant to be something entirely different, however what was intended to just be a transition into this 'something entirely different' (what I told you I was stuck on earlier) just suddenly took on a life of its own! I think I like it though, we see James starting to try and atone for his earlier behaviour, something I didn't intend for him to do this early on, but hey, no time like the present! Don't worry though, Lily has her own short comings and later on in the story she'll also be atoning for her behaviour towards James, they both have their issues and the blame for their feud resides in both the characters. So this chapter is probably a bit short, but that's because it was intended to be the beginning of the next chapter. On a final note I **really **need a beta, I've read over my previous chapters and some of my errors are making me cringe horribly! Any volunteers **please **get in touch! Anyway, you don't want to listen to me ramble anymore! Please review- I'd love to hear from any readers! Until next time, weasley-is-your-king x

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: Arrogance<strong>

Quite honestly, even in hindsight James couldn't work out what had happened the night before; it had taken him until she had disappeared up the staircase before he realised she had left. After giving her an ample head start James followed her up the staircase and sat on his bed and resolved not to cause himself any unnecessary stress by over thinking the reason for her abrupt departure. He had been intending on unpacking his pyjama bottoms and alarm clock before heading to bed, however he noticed that included in the room was a new alarm clock and his pyjama bottoms had already been laid on top of the double bed along with an already heated hot water bottle.

The next morning he registered that the new alarm clock was much louder than his previous one, he smiled as he remembered the many times Moony had commented on the ineffectiveness of his old alarm clock after having to wake him just so he'd have time to breakfast before class at least twice a week for the last three years, at least he had a sufficient replacement. He looked at the clock, 7.03am. Deciding against risking another 5 minutes in bed he swung his legs over the side of the bed and walked across his room to the door that lead to the bathroom adjoined to both his and Lily's rooms. After stopping to listen for any sound of movement he pushed the door open, the bathroom was bigger than he had assumed it would be, the bath wasn't unlike the one in the prefect bathroom, big enough to swim laps in with multiple taps each labelled with a different scent or effect, deciding he'd save testing the tub for another time he headed over the other side of the room to take a quick shower before dressing and making his way down to common room. It was still only 7.45, another half an hour before he and Lily were due in the Great Hall, deciding he would wait for Lily before leaving, he walked over to the bookshelf and picked out 'Top 100 Offensive Quidditch Plays' and sat in an arm chair by the fire. It was only 5 minutes later that Lily descended the staircase, her uniform immaculate, hair down and from what James could tell, only minimal make up on,

"Good morning- thought you'd still be in the shower?" He said as he marked the page in his book and got out of his seat,

"I've been up since half 6, I showered before you." She said with half a smile, "It takes girls a bit longer to get ready than you lads."

"Right of course, didn't think that one through. Erm, you've got your school bag?" James said with a confused frown, Lily looked equally confused,

"Yes James, it's a Friday, we generally have lessons..." Lily said patting his arm, James forced himself to ignore the feeling of her hand on his arm and continued,

"Yeah, but we haven't even got our timetables yet- you don't even know which books to bring?"

"I know," she shrugged, "I just brought them all just in case I don't have a free first thing, I want time for breakfast after we're done with the timetables, which I won't if I have to come back up here and get my books."

"That can't be good for your back carrying those round all day." James argued, Lily merely rolled her eyes, exasperated,

"James, I wasn't aware you'd forgotten that I'm a witch, I am sure my back can withstand my bag with its Undetectable Extension and Feather Light Charm, now can we please go to the Great Hall, I refuse to be late for the first head duty we've been given." And once again before James could say anything else, she was heading for the door, more prepared this time, he was quick to follow her out the portrait hole, however after making it halfway to the Great Hall in awkward silence and struggling to think of anything to say to get back in her good books, he went with an easy topic,

"So how does this timetable distribution thing usually work?"

"Well, we'll meet McGonagall at the staff table in about," she checked her watch, "20 minutes and we each get assigned a house to distribute the timetables to for the first to fifth years, two other professors will take whichever houses remain, usually Vector and Hooch, sixth and seventh years have to have their subject choices approved by the heads of houses depending on their results from last year's end of year exams, so we don't have to worry about them, should be simple enough really, the only ones we may have problems with are third years if they haven't been placed into a new class they applied for, but we can't deal with that anyway, we have to send them to their head of house, so like I said, fairly straight forward."

"How do you know all this? It's like you have some kind of instruction book or something." To his surprise Lily blushed, "Oh Lil, you haven't have you?" She continued to burn scarlet,

"No, I haven't actually." She snapped, James laughed

"Are you sure Lil? A bit defensive there." Lily shot him an angry glare before sighing in resignation,

"I'm going to sound like such a hypocrite." She muttered without further explanation, however James' interest was piqued,

"Do continue."

"Ok, well, when I was made a prefect in fifth year, everyone had been telling me since third year that I was pretty much guaranteed that position and I guess that since then I've always been told that the Head Girl position has kind of had my name on it as well."

"Well yeah, it pretty much has..."

"So, there's only so many times you can be told something like that and not get your hopes up a bit, since I got the prefects badge fifth year I've been keeping an eye on the kind of things the head students had to do and making a note of it, you know, just in case..." She tailed off looking mortified, honestly she hadn't meant to confess this to him, she hadn't meant to confess this to anyone, she waited for him to start laughing but he didn't,

"Lil, how does that make you a hypocrite?" James asked, confused, while Lily who had started to return to her normal porcelain skin tone looked at the floor to hide the blush that was once again rising,

"Well doesn't that make me a bit, you know..." her voice had dropped to barely a whisper, "Arrogant?"

"...you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter." He said quietly, smiling sadly at the memory from little over a year ago, it certainly wasn't his proudest moment, he didn't say anything else for a moment, avoiding her stare while he tried to push back the resurfacing memory of that day, along with the guilt that had kept him away from her for the last year, after a few seconds he smiled and tried to bring back the light hearted tone in his voice, "I'll meet you halfway then, you're just a third of a hypocrite, you certainly aren't a bully and you do a disservice to the word toerag, but there's nothing wrong with a little arrogance now and again, everyone gets annoyed with that person who's unnecessarily insecure." Despite wanting to smile as she thought of Marlene, Lily frowned at this,

"Arrogance is equally unattractive."

"Only in excessive amounts, there's nothing wrong with knowing your strengths and recognising when you've rightfully earned something, that's just having confidence in your own abilities, which is an attractive quality for anyone to have, like I said, everyone gets irritated with that person who refuses to admit any positive aspects of their looks or personality... But I will agree, arrogance is definitely at the very least, an equally unattractive quality." James concluded, they both knew they were in dangerous territory with one another, however Lily had to ask one more question,

"So which are you, arrogant, confident in your own abilities or unnecessarily insecure?" They were stood outside the Great Hall at this point, the older students staring as they walked passed at the unfamiliar sight of James Potter and Lily Evans having what appeared to be a civil conversation. James exhaled before answering, realising how much depended on his next answer,

"I'm probably still arrogant, I certainly was prior to this year and I probably always will be a little bit, but I'm aiming to just be confident in my own abilities, Lil I _don't _like my arrogance, and I know you and a lot of others definitely don't but I'm never going to be unnecessarily insecure." She frowned,

"I never wanted you to be." James smiled at this,

"I know." Lily seemed to realise where they were and laughed,

"Look at us, this is a bit deep for ten past 8 on a Friday morning!" He smiled and laughed,

"Yeah just a bit!"

"We should probably head in..." Lily gestured a little awkwardly,

"Ladies first." James bowed in a fit of mock chivalry, which caused Lily to giggle,

"Why thank you kind Sir!"

As soon as they walked into the hall they were accosted by Professor McGonagall and handed a stack of timetables to distribute, James left for the Hufflepuff table while Lily made her way over to Ravenclaw. After the previous two years of watching the previous head students Lily wasn't paying much attention to her actions as she handed out the lower school timetables for the house, so when someone tapped her on the shoulder she near enough jumped out of her skin,

"Joe!"

"You alright Lil'?" he smirked,

"You scared me half to death!"

"Yeah sorry about that, you must have been miles away." There was a pause as Lily registered his hand holding her upper arm

"Yeah... I was."

"Congrats on Head Girl, didn't I always say it'd be you."

"You did." Lily smiled and finally dared to look him in the eye, he was smiling at her and there was a warmth in his gaze that reminded Lily of the earlier days in their relationship, it made her strangely uncomfortable.

"I've missed you Lil, really missed you." At this point Lily registered that his other hand was on her hip, she quickly made to step out of his grasp,

"We've been over since June, I thought we were both happy with that."

"Lil, can't we just talk."

"I can't, I'm busy." She gestured to the remaining pile of timetables,

"Then lunch today, meet with me." Lily tried to clear her head and think rationally, they were over for a reason; they had broken up because they just didn't work together. However she couldn't help but think back to her feelings at the feast the night before, that despite her heart dropping in her chest she couldn't deny the flutter of butterflies when Dumbledore had read out his name, could it hurt to hear what he had to say?

"I'll meet you outside the entrance hall when I've done eating."

"Great I'll see you then."

As Joe left the Great Hall, James couldn't help but register the grin on his face, nor could he ignore the lack of smile on Lily's; but that didn't stop him being angry, hell, she must have done something to warrant that Cheshire cat grin plastered all over his mug. She was too nice, far, far too nice for her own good, yet not to him- never to him. He could honestly say that he didn't deserve it either, until the previous day, he had never given her reason to believe he was sincere in his affection, either in a platonic or romantic sense. That's what was most frustrating about the scenario, knowing he'd no one to blame but himself; he cringed as he thought back to a particularly embarrassing attempt to attract her attention in fourth year.

It had been after a particularly boring Transfiguration lesson with the Ravenclaw's and everyone was glad to be out of the classroom and heading to lunch. James particularly giddy upon his release from the confines of the stuffy room chose the moment the vast majority of the Gryffindor were sitting down in the Great Hall to shout down to Lily,

"Hey, Evans! Didn't know you were interested in birds?" Lily (and anyone else in hearing range of the two of them) was understandably confused,

"I'm sorry Potter, but I've no idea what you're talking about."

"I was just saying... you clearly have an interest in birds as that's a mighty fine pair of hooters you've got there." He finished with a wink, eyeing her newly developed and ample chest, which looking back James considered was probably the icing on the cake- and that was only a correct analogy if the cake was burnt to the point where it was inedible and the icing was too runny causing the whole thing to just be a damn mess.

Needless to say, in true Lily style she had seen red and cast a nasty hex on him that caused his entire body to erupt in pussy boils with such strength that even Madam Pomfrey hadn't been able to get rid of them, he had spent the rest of the week in the Hospital Wing until the boils healed of their own accord. In hindsight he could appreciate how impressive the magic had to have been, however at the time he had only been able to focus on how to heal the damn things. Looking back, he didn't know which was more embarrassing, the horrible chat up line, or having to leave the Great Hall covered in boils. However he wasn't given long to think about that rather mortifying memory of his as McGonagall arrived at his side with Lily,

"Mr Potter, I was rather hoping that you and Miss Evans might be able to do me a small favour. I have to see all the Seventh year Gryffindor's today for careers counselling just in case anything has changed from last year, and while I'm seeing the rest of your house mates after lessons today I'm afraid you'll need the time tonight to do the patrol schedule for the rest of September so I'll have to see you both before the end of today and as I'm teaching all day today it's going to have to be now, but looking at your records from last year's meetings, it looks like I'll just be giving the same talk twice. So, I rather hoped you both wouldn't mind if I saw you both together, now?" She looked to Lily as she finally god to the crux of her request, as did James, waiting for her to voice her objections. Lily however was mildly embarrassed as both McGonagall and James looked at her as if they were looking at a toddler on the verge of throwing a full scale temper tantrum, so she smiled and hoped it didn't look too forced,

"No, of course I don't mind Professor, should we head straight to your office?" If McGonagall was shocked by Lily's compliance she (thankfully) didn't show it,

"Please Miss Evans." McGonagall nodded as she led the way out of the Great Hall. She sighed and followed, they both wanted to be Auror's and if they both sustained their grades it was likely they would be going to the training academy together come the following September, they'd just have to learn to be in close proximity to each other for extended periods of time and besides, they'd once again managed to get on this morning, there was no logical reason for this meeting to go anything other than smoothly.

Oh how wrong she was...

**A/N: **Please, please, please review! I've no idea how this is being received etc and would adore some feedback from you all, reviews to writer are what updates are to a reader after all. Also if you have any questions etc I have a tumblr to go alongside my FF account, weasleyisyourking(.)tumblr(.)com so follow me there/post in my ask :) I look forward to hearing from you one way or another.


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